I received a phone call last night from my brother at about 9:30pm. I wasn’t
sure what to expect from the call as it usually stems into needing something.
Whether it be an extension cord, pack of cigarettes, or looking something up on
the computer. The conversation started off OK with venting about life but
turned into something a lot more incriminating about his own actions. He
admitted to me that he had “slipped” up 3 times. If you know a drug addict, you
know that 3 probably means 6 or even 12. I was once told that the magic number
of a sure tell sign to someone lying is usually 3. It doesn’t sound as bad as 5
or 6, but is more believable than 2. So, there I was, listening to my brothers
cry for help not knowing what to do or what to say.
You see, my brother and I have been down this road before. It started with
smoking cigarettes then growing to pot at a young age. Pot grew to alcohol which
he didn’t like that much, so the next thing that was offered was meth. Meth is
a very cheaply made drug, readily available, and so harmful to your self esteem
and body. And when you're down in the dumps and bored, meth will make you feel
like Superman and all of the worlds problems are solved over the course of your
high which can be 2 to 3 DAYS. I, personally, hate it. Our family grew up poor
with five kids and parents who were musicians and mainly worked at night. And
what I mean by night was that us kids would get home from school and our parents
were most of the time, just waking up. The gigs they got towards the end of my
brother and I’s childhood, were 60 to 100 miles from home and in bars. The life
was rough but not bad. I got off track. Since our parents were musicians, we
moved around a lot making it hard to get and keep friends. My brother found
friends in drugs and all it took was a couple of drug bonding moments, and he
was hooked.
Not being the type to settle down, raise a family, get a job, he bounced
around from friend to friend always needing to fill the “I need more stuff” gap.
Trading “stuff” became his job. Start off with a pack of smokes and 3 months
later, he had traded and traded until he had a car! It is an amazing gift.
Unfortunately, he probably had to steal that pack of smokes in the first place.
Needless to say, having a car and no drivers license, landed him in jail.
Jail. WTF. It is were not so bad people meet bad people and make connections
to even worse people. People aren’t bad, but the choices they make are! And if
you know how to steal real well and make killer drugs, can you please keep it to
yourself? This is how my brother learned new trade secrets in his life and how
to get more drugs. From others in jail sitting around playing spades, cribbage,
etc., telling stories of how they got away with this and that. My brother gets
out and starts putting these ideas into works. He gets ahead for about a year
and then, BAM! Lands in prison.
Prison. Cant say anything good about that. Instead of giving 3 to 6 months
locked up in a jail, lets give them 3 to 6 years! This way they have all the
time in the world to sit around, do nothing but learn more stupid tricks, make
even stupider connections, and prey on the supportive friends and family for
sympathy, visits, and money on my books. I’m not quite sure, but I feel the
money on the books thing is just another tool to do trading in the joint. Which
isn't teaching a damn thing! Sorry, I get so angry and my words just blurt
out.
I must remind anyone reading this, that these are my opinions and feelings.
This is meant for me to just vent. In the phone call last night, my brother
asked my not to say anything to my family. No one in my family reads my blogs
(unless I tell them to or make them) so I feel OK about sharing with you my
troubles and woes.
So this goes on for 15 years. First time in prison, 1 and half years. Out for
a year, then back in for 3. Out for 9 months, then back in for 4 more. See where
this is going? Now it is 2011. My brother is 35. He feels is time to get his
life on track. He makes a good running start at it. Lands a great job, finds a
landlord who will give him a shot at being a renter. Bounces around making tiny
bad choices but keeps his job, his house and has a steady girlfriend. All the
tickets and fines he has racked up in the 15 years makes it difficult to get a
license. Paying down debt is not something anyone taught him. So, no drivers
license but has two cars. One DUI and he's on an ankle bracelet. Only allowed
to go to work and court appointments and get in even more debt as wearing an
ankle bracelet costs about $70.00 a day. He needs a roommate. He chooses
poorly. His roommate is into the meth. My brother is at home 24/7 with this
roommate bringing the stuff in and the temptation wore him down. Which lead to
the phone call last night.
I have to go to work now. Thanks for letting me vent.
